i'm going hoooome

neener neener neeeeeeeener!!!
hahaha u kids who are gonna be stuck in 10+ hrs of traffic going down the I-5 tomorrow..
suckaz!

hahaha i think i rubbed it in your faces enough :)

wow. why is it that everyone in bezerkeley is itchin to go back home?? don't we like berkeley?
("not i" said the fly.. named jenn) ..i kno..doesn't make sense

i think i'll start liking this place next semester. i just need a looong break from 94704 and a fresh new start.
new classes, new profs.. those will definitely make things better.
seriously, this semester has been very lackluster academically. no truly great professors and no truly great GSI's.
they're just all okay..

but man do i miss prof. jean frechet's french accent (remember "electrons! ze zame zide!"), how catherine [chem 3a TA] didn't only just talk to guys in the lab and how she would be really connected to the class.

i miss dr. leon litwak [history 7b] and his activism and passion in teaching. i miss jennifer jung hee choi [history 7b gsi] and how she'd encourage us when we needed encouraging, and how she'd scold us when we were being lazy.

i miss animated antonia syson's english accent and how she laughed out loud. i miss how she'd notice if something was wrong (because our class was small) and how she'd give us some leeway when we needed it.

all these professors really wanted the students to do well. and trust me, that's hard to find in berkeley.

now i am stuck with ellman [i may not like him too much right now cuz chem doesn't feel like chem these days. just a buncha memorizing] and hilary peltier. lemme tell u about ms. peltier. i think she'd make a cool friend to talk to and hang out with, but as a gsi.. i just don't know. she just does the bare minimum- show up at lab, show up at office hours. and i get a vibe from her that says "i would rather be elsewhere"

and my econ 100a prof. bhandari. he's got to be the laziest teacher(?!) i've ever had. i think he no longer does the powerpoint presentations the textbook company sends him, but dude.. he'd stare at his little laptop in the dark for 1.5 hrs while half of the ppl who show up to class leaves and the other half fall asleep. does he even CARE about this class??? and he said students should spend about 10hrs/week studying for his class.. well i didn't and i did swell on the midterm! so HA!
the gsi for the class, ryan ratcliff, tries to highlight the things he thinks is important for the hour he has us twice a week, and it is very well appreciated. but when your gsi is only on campus from 8am - 4pm on tues and thurs, and can't even hold office hours, and can't answer your questions over email.. it is very frustrating.

and cynical mari arko klemenc [music 20a]. we TRY, meaning our class, but she is never satisfied. never an encouraging word and never any leeway. i guess she doesn't think we're good kids?? i also get a vibe from her that says "i'd rather be elsewhere."

well, u know what. i, myself, would rather be elsewhere instead of in your stankin classes!
there is absolutely no motivation to go to these classes..

wow. i didn't even intend to write about all this. this blog has a mind of its own!!

but non-academically, college has been *hella* fun. i seriously don't feel like a student.
this weekend's highlights were carolina's birthday brunch, big game victory! who's got the axe now?!, preparing and partaking in a delicious thanksgiving dinner with a couple small groups.. and hours and hours of just chillen and relaxin with friends.

and yesterday i worked the concession stands at the 49ers game. ohhhh yes... i learned to serve beer. and what was this for? FiCB's winter retreat fundraiser!! haha.. how ironic.
that was quite the experience. it was madness from 5pm to 9pm. straight. it was funny cuz once the beer was gone there were nooo lines! hahaha.
props to all 30 of us who worked it! super duper props to sammy for organizing the whole entire darn thing for FiCB and for delta sig. FiCB made over $25,000 babyy.

i was quite the sad sight yesterday - sore arms from mashing potatoes, aching legs from standing all day.
but i have no complaints. i had a great time :)

ok kids, time to get away from berkeley~

* red hot chili peppers - the zephyr song

household appliances without electricity

let's not be like that. ok? (see john 15:1-5)

i'm forgiven, because You were forsaken
i'm accepted, You were condemned.
i'm alive and well, Your spirit is within me.
because You died and rose again..

amazing love, how can it be?
that you my King would die for me.
amazing love, i know it's true.
it's my joy to honor You.
in all i do, i honor You.

* jewel - foolish games

california

i don't think most of us california residents realize how lucky we are. sunshine almost everyday, great weather (at least in socal), and sooo much diversity. we got all sorts of ppl from different backgrounds, and all sorts of places to go to.

want mountains? the sierra nevadas are right there.
want water? u got a coastline of 1264 miles to cruise.
want the desert? the entire los angeles area was practically a desert before urbanization.
want serene rural/suburban areas? want the rush of big cities?
want fancy restaurants? want shopping malls?
want superstars who live large with a big house and five cars..?

how can we complain when we're living in the golden state.
move over garden state (NJ), gem state (ID), bluegrass state (KY), buckeye state (OH), magnolia state (MS), jayhawk state (KS), bonanza state (MT), sooner state (OK), badger state (WI)... don't even get me started on the north + south states.

haha.. so much california pride.

time for this california girl to go to sleep

* phantom planet - california

for some late night entertainment..
euw! not THAT kind of entertainment, u sicko.

horses singing a capella

cruisin through PCH on a warm summer day

yes that is exactly how i would describe how i feel on this fine winter night.
it feels almost unnatural to be enjoying life so much, cuz maybe things will get bad and i won't be happy anymore... but heck! imma enjoy it for now!

but before i start talking about my day, i wanted to clear up last night's blog.. hmm.. last night i was a bit delirious. i hope that explains the "evilness" deal. ahaha

ok today!
bad: missed kalx wednesday morning news (again!!) aah... i haven't been in there for soo long. i don't think i'll get my 12hrs/month requirement fulfilled! awwww i have to wait another 6 months to be little j the dj.

good: lunch with janet,paul,esther and the peena kwolada smoothie from jamba juice!

bad: lunch with janet,paul,ester at naan n curry. euw. half of my naan was burnt and the chicken curry was oily and gross and messy. it got on my white pants. i smelled like funky curry for the rest of the day :P soooo disappointed! no more naan n curry!! EVER!

good: sitting in front of dwinelle with jay chou #3 cd and music hw and people watching.

bad: STUPID UPPERCLASSMEN BOYS making fun of me :( its so frustrating cuz they make me not want to be treated like a "girl" but i think i do want to be treated like a "girl" but i dont wanna be treated like that if they tease other guys cuz they hang out with me cuz i'm a "girl"!!!! aaahhhh!! (u kno who you are!)

good: working out and sweating allll the evilness away and then washing myself clean. no more curry oiliness! none!

good: dinner at intermezzo with little linda. a nice LARGE chef salad for two and a raspberry italian soda. mmm tossed romaine lettuce, tomato, garbanzo beans, kidney beans, cucumber, carrot, egg, avocado, alfalfa sprouts, croutons all mixed in poppyseed dressing. yum!

good: small group. enough said :)

good: watching the bachelor with janet,elena,linda and criticizing everything about the show. ahaha.

good: KST(korean soccer team) soccer game. u guys did great!! it was reallly great seeing may again!! and hanging out with janet,elena,susan,kirby,borkae,timm is ALWAYS fun. janet showed me her very special little bobbing twisting dance. it's sooo cute!!

ooooh? and what is this talk about watching rent this weekend??? my favorite musical ever???

song of the moment: jimmy buffet - if you like pina coladas
this song is from the movie, the sweetest thing

evilness (ee-vuhl-ness): expression used when one is still awake when one should've gone to sleep two hours ago.
plural- evilnesses.

my word!! MY WORD!! (ok elena?) puhahaha

j e n n 637 (12:46:19 AM): evilnesses
j e n n 637 (12:46:21 AM): evilness
j e n n 637 (12:46:24 AM): isnt that a cool word?
s coty boi EE (12:46:36 AM): KST is the definition of cool
s coty boi EE (12:46:41 AM): SOCCER is the defeition of cool
s coty boi EE (12:46:44 AM): you not going to sleep is NOT cool
j e n n 637 (12:47:18 AM): evilnesses

evilness

introducing my friend(?), roach.
i will not use his real name but will refer to him as roach because that is what he is called and he is so MEAN to me!!
no, this is not alexander samuel hyun. this is roach!

j e n n 637 (12:41:21 AM): MEANIE
j e n n 637 (12:41:25 AM): U LAUGH WHEN I TRIP
ALEXsHYUN (12:41:41 AM): yeah yeah
ALEXsHYUN (12:41:45 AM): only cuz i care
ALEXsHYUN (12:41:45 AM): haha
j e n n 637 (12:41:52 AM): MEANIE
ALEXsHYUN (12:41:54 AM): i would have loved if u landed on ur face
ALEXsHYUN (12:41:59 AM): and of course not hurt urself
ALEXsHYUN (12:42:09 AM): but yeah...that woulda been real funny

song of the moment: duncan sheik - barely breathing

i'm a drama queen

my hormones and emotions were allll over the place for the past few days, but i'm glad to say it's over. YAY!!! :)
sorry for scaring ya'll [u know who u are]

yesterday nite was utterly *spectacular*



after i saw the new oldies annihilate [that other team] in softball, i went up to tilden/lookout point to go see the leonids.
i kno it's just a buncha flying debris in the sky that makes those wonderful streaks of light but it was just so amazing.
stupid full moon in the sky, but when the meteor sightings were slowing down i started looking at the moon - and its coldness and loneliness really captured me.

and sometime during the hour or so i was lying on the ground with menz,diana,kai,debs,cindy,charlie with sleeping bags and blankets galore, i felt at peace. i somehow got the courage to face the world again.. all by myself. :)

i hope i never forget how i felt up there. shure, it was cold and smelled of pot [i duno why ppl needed to enhance the already spectacularness of the moment with that] but the clear sky dotted with specks of light, the sound of the wind rustling through the trees, the voices of my frenz, knowing that a bagazillion other people in all the remote corners of the world were looking up to the sky in hopes of catching a flash of the meteor shower...

God is truly a great artist.

as a result of staying up late to experience these things, i missed ochem lecture and music (not an unfamiliar story) and almost missed my sight singing quiz. whew!

today is also filled with good news:
*got an OK to apply to go abroad to lyon, france for fall 2003
*won a gray nalgene 32oz water bottle on ebay! ya!!!!

random advice from janice: don't sit on cold surfaces, it's not good for your uterus.
:) does that crack u up or WHAT?

song of the moment: del amitri - roll to me

can this day get any worse...
[it's not just one thing so don't worry it's not you]

identity crisis: who am i?

i have the cooooooolest small group ever. EVER. it is sooo easy to be myself and it is sooo comfortable just talking to them and chillen.
we are having a sleepover tonite (obviously i did not stay) but i think it's soo amazing how we can go from praising together, to sharing about our week and comforting each other, to baking and eating and dancing and laughing together...

i wonder if i'm the only person who's being exposed to this kind of environment for the first time.
i really wish i had a sibling sometimes.
cuz friends come and go, but family does not.

sooo i thought i was the only one going through this trance - this feeling of floating through the day.. bombarded with things to do, too tired to do the things i want to do. but boy, was i wrong!!!
and i desperately need to get rid of this attitude i have. this attitude of "i don't need to meet new ppl, i'll just surround myself with familiar things." i think that attitude has kept me from becoming close with my small group girls, with the freshmen at FiC, with ppl in my classes..

i wanna backtrack a little bit. i had a very thoughtful (in a good way) day, and i wanted to make sure i write it all down somewhere.. on this blog or in my private journal..

last nite i slept VERY late. i actually passed out, with the lights on, with my glasses on. I LOVE THAT!! haha. i love being able to really sleeep. i never give myself a chance to really sleeep because i consider sleep a waste of time (being the trying-to-be-freakishly-productive kinda girl i am).
i woke up 30 minutes before my stat midterm (yikes!) which went perty well. MUCH better than my chem midterm.
why doesn't anyone believe me when i tell them that i did horrribly in chem?? they'll feel bad when i find out my score and it's really bad.

rob is very nice. rob called me to make sure i was gonna make it to the stat midterm. i was supposed to be in front of dwinelle around noon to review with him, but i wasn't there so he called! rob is very nice.

so after stat, i went to work.
and on the way i called my mom. it makes me REALLY sad how i cannot communicate with my mom sometimes. like, i call, but there is nothing to talk about. all i get from her is: "did u call the gas company about the heater?"
arrgghh. i know she worries obsessively out of love, but i wish she could just be herself with me and stop worrying about protecting me from the trials of the "real world." because trust me i knoo the loneliness and hardships of the "real world." well.. almost.

which brings me to an article i read on thursday's Daily Cal.
here's a link to it: Off the Beat: Berkeley's 'Real World'
it reflects my theory about UCB's joy in squeezing all the youthfulness and optimism out of its students.

"Sure, students here should grow and learn to become part of the 'real world,' whatever that may be. But they might need some assistance along the way, especially in an environment so conducive to disillusion and depression"

amen to that.

work was great. i dunno about the "teams intern" who works alongside me in the Physical Science for Pre-Schoolers class i help out in.. but work was great. we went to the planetarium during class time to learn about stars and constellations. the planetarium reminded me of that episode of 'Friends' when Ross and Rachel are supposed to go out on a date but Ross gets stuck at museum and Rachel decides to stay with him and they chill at the planetarium...and end up sleeping together in the caveman display!! hahaha

ok, anyway... work was great because the kids love the class. i love that the kids love the class.

after work i called janet and finally got to talk to that girl.. havent really got to talk to her in a while! it sucks how ppl go through tough times and i'm not there for them to share with. it sucks how ppl go through great times and i'm not there for them to share with. i hate school :P
i wish my friends would use the phone more. seriously. NO ONE LIKES THE PHONE! arrgg it makes me sad.. cuz if i'm not with them all the time, i won't know what's going on with them, and i could be left out when they decide to do things.

while talking to janet i was walking to junior jane's apt. for the small group sleepover - and i stopped by janice's. that busy girl! i haven't seen her or talked to her in ages. ok this is making me depressed imma gonna stop.

but with the small group, i was realllly happy. if any of u girls are reading this, u make me happy!!!!
i absolutely loved singing praises with u girls.
i absolutely loved that u are sooo open and honest and real.
i absolutely loved that u love me when i am open and honest and real.

who needs boys??? my sg leave me with a ::warm and fuzzy:: feeling inside.
seriously, u guys out there! consider yourselves lucky to even be acknowledged by these girls!

song of the moment: india arie - video

some people really make me smile

fun times at the library...
elena: i've been having trouble sleeping. i have amnesia... i mean insomia! well.. i have amnesia too.
jennychang: i believed a friend who said she was 1/3 white, 1/3 black, 1/3 japanese and then i realized, u can't be 1/3!!!

a conversation in the wee hours of the morning...
kennis kim (2:27:15 AM): ur going through an emotional low eh?
j e n n 637 (2:27:44 AM): eh~
kennis kim (2:28:09 AM): yanno what's nice?
kennis kim (2:28:09 AM): go outside right now
kennis kim (2:28:10 AM): the wind is just breathtaking
j e n n 637 (2:28:32 AM): why is it breathtaking
kennis kim (2:28:56 AM): i dont know
kennis kim (2:28:58 AM): like
kennis kim (2:29:03 AM): i was standing outside for a while
kennis kim (2:29:12 AM): and an overwhelming peace came over me

isn't he the coooolest guy ever!

song of the moment: oasis - live forever

looong day, looong week

today i made it to chem lecture, and to music (and got to perform my duet!), went to work, library, stat review session
but i don't feel very accomplished. something's missing.. hmmm

ok, so i'm going through an emotional low right now, but i'm gonna pretend like it's not there. maybe focusing on positive things will make me forget about it.
questioning friends, feeling very unsmart + insecure.. not good.

but what IS good is
...the view of the bay from work [lawrence hall of science]. *wow* breathtaking. blue skies, sparkling water...
...roasted chicken and garlic ravioli
...three-midterms-in-one-week is almost over (and i can go on AIM once again)
...getting my internet jcrew purchase (i love it!)
[what's with me and lists?]

ok! time to go back to la bibliotheque.

thank you to nancinator and andychon and eugene and the klinkfamily for discovering this wonderful commenting thing!!

song of the moment: dave matthews band - everyday

eeeek!!!

ochem midterm kicked my butt!!! arrgghh. i will get u back!!!

in honor of susan's birthday, here is some eye canddyy. al pacino - my, does he look dashing :)



song of the moment: busta rhymes - pass the courvoisier

1 down...

2 more to go

it is the HARDEST thing trying to study for another midterm right after one midterm.
and here i am, wastin my time, desperately trying to avoid what i must do.

today was yet another day of many highs and lows - but the lows weren't too low so it's all good ;)

high: ice cream day in "secret formulas" (the class i help teach at LHS). it was the last day of class today and we made ice cream! a lotta mess and disasters here, but all in all it was a fun and memorable class. today they had to pick partners for ice-cream making, and there was one girl who didn't have a partner. ena (the teacher) asked her if she'd like to be partners with me. the girl said no. :(
but then i heard a little way off "i wanna be partners with jenn!!! me!! me!!!" and it was claire [one of the brighter and nicer students in the class]. i didn't know i was so appreciated :) it was a nice feeling. it made me feel bad for sometimes not being "all there" in class..

low: econ 100a midterm. enough said! blah! [but it wasn't tooooo bad]

low: while walking back home, random ppl coming up to me on sproul.. some guy (who kind of looked familiar...) walking right towards me saying hi.. i just smiled and walked by hahah. and then another random guy stops me, "would you like to participate in a survey? it'll take two minutes." i smiled and said, "no thanks"
man, it must be hard for ppl who can't say "no" to walk through sproul uninterrupted.

high: my new-found hobby of people-watching. seriously, when you're walking anywhere, just look at all the people around you. it is soooo interesting (and most of the times very amusing). hahaa. today i saw many look-alikes. there was one guy who really looked like stephen hull (mormon friend from agoura who is on his 2 year mission in south america).. i miss him :( wonder how he is doing. i also saw two very tall, very fair skinned, red haired twins!! i dunno why but i thought it was very funny. i never thought twins were funny before but hahaha it's so funny how there's two separate people who look exactly alike. mann wish i had a twin (if the world were only so lucky) hahaha jk.

ok time to go study-
wish i could play with this kitty instead...



song of the moment: linkin park - my december

3 day weekend..

full of studying!!
but somehow i am not stressed... hmmm

a couple agoura alums came up to berkeley this weekend- andy and DJ lino.
the fact that i had 3 midterms coming up didn't really help. i wanted to hang out with them, yet i wanted to get my studying done..

but i took lino to some obscure person's house party last nite
and got to have lunch and go music shopping with them today~

ahhhh!! i feel so guilty!!

song of the moment: sarah mclaughlin - building a mystery

so annoyed!!!!

so i awoke today at 10:30 AM. it was kind of a jolting wake up because i thought i had overslept and missed something
but i had not.
my waking up moments haven't been so pleasant lately. it's always "SHOOT! i'm late" and a madd rush to get ready...
i miss those times of waking up to sunlight filling the room.. fresh air coming in through the open patio door.. the birds chirping in the shades of the trees.. the sound of the little creek by my home in agoura..
when i wake up like this i just know that i'm gonna have a good day

now i awake to grayness (which wouldn't be so bad if our room had a decent view of the outdoors!), stale air, noise coming through the thin walls of our humble apartment.. and the first thoughts that enter my head are pessimistic. "dammit i have a long day today" or "shoot i haven't studied enough"

i made some tea for myself and then saw the medical vendor list waiting for me.. and i knew what i must do.
i picked up my cell phone and started calling all those pharmaceutical companies. i got flashbacks of working for reeds & son co. (a furniture outlet store) and calling all the manufacturers - getting transferred to 100000 people, getting yelled at by angry customers, feeling helpless. [that was the worst job ever]

see.. what i was doing today was trying to contact someone (anyone) in the pharm company who can give us (spiritual awakening mission) medical donations, which we would send to the poverty stricken in north korea. people have noo idea what is going on out there. innocent civilians are dying because of hunger and cold and disease - they're caught in a vicious cycle called poverty.
it hurts me so much that there is so much pain out there.. i want to help.. i NEED to help. and the fact that i can't get anywhere with these medical companies makes me sick to the stomach.
i was talking to one company in particular: watson pharmaceutical. and they straight out told me that they would rather not donate almost outdated medicine for "fear" that whoever gets it will be like "why is this company giving us expired medicine?!" and legal disputes would ensue..

so yes, after hearing this, i was pissed at watson pharmaceutical and their selfishness and coldheartedness - they reminded me of the big banks and the big farmers during the Great Depression who would burn their crops instead of sell/give them away to the starving public for a negative profit.

but i was even more pissed at AMERICA'S GREED!!!

if there wasn't so much greed then companies wouldn't HAVE to worry about law suits that might possibly maybe occur because they decided to donate their extra goods to those in need. [did u hear about that restaurant/fast food chain (?) that got sued because a homeless man who ate their donated food got sick and died..]

this encounter with reality left me with this resolution: NEVER be satisfied.

NEVER be content with the state the world is in. ALWAYS strive to change things. ALWAYS work to make things better.

i hate that i'm a no-name college student who has no power .. i must become someone big (REAL big) so people will really listen to me..

song of the moment: hoobastank - running away

the nyquil is in my system. yayyy
ooooh i am sooo looking forward to tonite's sleep.

but it's so odd how i say i am gonna "sleep soon" at 10:30 PM and now its 12:41 AM. wasting time is sooooo bad. sooooooooo bad.
i wish someone would give me an incentive to end this obsession with AIM and blogger.

song of the moment: blur - coffee and tv

it's starting to look a lot like...

i carried my umbrella with me all day (and night). which means, it's raining! i dunno how i feel about this...
the wind tonite almost flipped my umbrella and almost blew away my mom's handmade scarf! whew!
more rain/thunder/wind forecasted tomorrow in 94704

so...i don't think i'm really a cal student.
i have sooo much work to do but i live life so easily
i missed my ochem quiz this morning (just barely!) and i .. kind of don't care. i care about my grades and how well i do in classes, but when something bad happens, i brush it off real easily lately.. haha, i'm just gonna say i'm applying economics and the theory of sunk cost in my life.

i took a short nap, and then went to eat pho with sophomore esther, janet, and freshman amanda. mmmm must make pho trips a routine..
dude- we have some FUNNY girls.

1. amanda on phone: "hey (girl's name i forgot)! come down right now we are picking u up... but u are not there! call me back when u get this!"
2. janet and amanda making weird noises in the car [they can't handle the silence of janet's car]. i kno janet's not an only child.. wonder if amanda is..
3. janet bringing her own dessert INTO the restaurant.. can't take her anywhere!

immediately after that, went to see 8 mile with helene, ex-chem/math buddy jason, and their friend lina.
lemme just say.. that movie is not worth going to a matinee showing of it. heck, it's not even worth going to see for a free screening! (this means it's bad.. haha diana!!)
i was quite surprised that eminem/slim shady/marshall mathers would agree to play such a role in such a movie...

there was potential for the movie to be good, but there were so many loose ends (relationships with girlfriends, mother, sister) and so much difficulty in understanding what the ppl were saying.. it was quite hard to enjoy.
i would say that the movie did a pretty good job showing eminem/slim shady/marshall mathers' character tho. the different ways he's pulled - by his friends, by success.
maybe this movie wasn't made to be understood by short asian girls from agoura hills.
but heck! that doesn't mean i'm oblivious to what's going on in the world. just cuz i'm not all about the underground hip hop scene...

the only good thing about 8 mile was going with jason and helene!!! how fun it is to see them doing sweet little things for each other. (see previous blog to find out a little more about this relationship)
and helene is so fun to talk to!! AAAHHH. she told me about saturday night - about how i acted. not that i didn't know how i was acting.. but actually i didn't know i was acting like THAT.
i must censor what i say on this public blog, but lemme just say this: moderation is key (how much more vague can i get?)

loong day ahead. must go get some sleep (and nyquil). sleep (and nyquil), here i come!!!

song of the moment: eminem - lose yourself

aaachhhooooo!!!!!

excuse me.

my physical strength has been spiralling down at rapid speed.. and my emotional strength goes along with it
but i can stand it, i can take care of myself - hopefully. [i secretly wish my mom were here]

dude, it's so weird how easily i get distracted.. and distraction is no good right now!

this week:
chem 3b quiz tomorrow

and next week:
econ 100a midterm tuesday
chem 3b midterm wednesday
stat 21 midterm friday

ok, but despite this madness, there have been moments of laughters and smiles [this is my effort to look at the bright side of things]:

janet and her "the hot apple cider at cafe milano is soooo good!! it's this apple cider..and.. and.. it's hot!" and her inviting me to be the 4th wheel in her relationship...
alex "roach" and his stankin smartness and popularity. he pretends like he's a slacker, but ladies and gentlemen, do not be fooled. we got a nerd here!!
ex-chem/math buddy jason who ::flutter flutters:: for his sweet, short, artsy, masupial, muffin!!! aaahh (gag)
helene who ::flutter flutters:: for her ghetto nerdy pumpkin...
eric han and his hard outer shell but soft candy inside.. (that almost sounded wrong) and his corn kernel heating pad and liz for making it!
my mommy who cheers me up w/o even knowing that i need some cheering up

thank you, random acts of kindess..

song of the moment: tori amos - a sorta fairytale
(this song is up there with fiona apple's across the universe!!)

nice to know...

that i'm not alone :) i had an awweesome lunch with sophomore esther today (thank you esther!). hahaha she made me scarf down a fajita burrito in 30 min when she couldn't even finish her own!! it's allll good tho hehe

i didn't know we shared common interests, or even common problems. i bet there are so many ppl i haven't met out there with whom i could share a truly meaningful relationship.

very interesting how God plans things..
today - on the most tiring and stressful day of the week - God provided me with quality time with a great friend and a niiice 2 hr nap. niiice.

ok, so i added a nedstat on my blogger (i always saw those graph looking icons on other ppls blogs and i wondered what they were!) and it is so cool!! it tell u the # of ppl who check your site each day and where they are checking it from..
i got an australia and puerto rico and irvine..
interesting...

aahhh i must stop avoiding the studies that await me-

but before i leave, i wanna share with everyone kennis' word(s) of encouragement
[it really made me smile.. thanks kennis]:

kennis kim (7:28:17 PM): chin up
kennis kim (7:28:22 PM): twirl around
kennis kim (7:28:27 PM): and plop back down
kennis kim (7:28:33 PM): and u will see
kennis kim (7:28:40 PM): life in a different way
kennis kim (7:28:46 PM): a nauseated way
kennis kim (7:28:53 PM): bye bye

song of the moment: sade - by your side

jaded...

is what i am. everything seems so mediocre lately; everything i do is just ~eh. i need an enthusiastic and passionate someone to (BAM) infuse life back into me.
jules pointed out to me today that whenever she talks to me i am lukewarm. i didn't know i gave off that vibe, but i realized that i HAVE been really lukewarm.

[alex and kevin also told me that when they first saw me they thought i was a nal la li (a social butterfly). hahaha that's a first! too bad that image didn't stick to me and now i am labeled as "nerdface." ugh!!]

studying has never been such a chore before..
socializing has never been such a hassle

is this what it's like to be in a "trance"? dude.. i don't want my thoughts to always be elsewhere.
what must i do to go regain consciousness and resume living life?

please tell me...

song of the moment: jimmy eat world - sweetness