viva la vie boheme!

saw la boheme @ sf with tha girls tonite. verryy interesting.
so basically it was like rent (the best musical ever ever!) except la boheme is an italian opera.. and rent is an american musical..
and rent is a lot(!) more scandalous
jenn likes the scandalousness~ hehehe

i think with age, i am becoming more and more callous about.. everything! movies, people's feelings.. everything resembles a sappy played out story. both beauty and the beast and la boheme made me laugh more than they made me sad. and la boheme is supposed to be a tragedy..
ggrrr frustrations with life

must think happy thoughts

i went home last weekend, and boy.. nothing can beat home sweet home. i dunno WHAT it is about home, or agoura, or socal... but i feel so welcome and i feel like i belong there. haha funny how the reason i left socal was that i felt welcome up here

my mom packed me a gripp of food to last me til thanksgiving! gom gook, jab chae, gal bi, kim chi, shrimp, vegetables..
it's allll love, baby!

i came home suuuper duper tired monday.. but i did wake up for my 9am chem lab (pat on the back). ex-floormate jason is goin down to irvine to go to an incubus concert this weekend. too bad he's flying down, or else i woulda gone down with him.. haha

and another happy thing: today was an awwesome day
not only was the weather just right, but i got to catch up with a buncha ppl. i guess today, i felt like i had a life. haha yayy

missed radio broadcast, again, but got up in time to go into gsi's chem office hours and get allll my questions about lab answered (consider lab done!)
thennn met up with ex-dormmate sophie (that pimpette!) for lunch and made a new friend, dan. i introduced them to the joys of coffee source, which is a GGREAT salad and sandwich place. yum!

skipped stat lecture and just sat and chat with sophie and then met erin and janet and ran into ex-roomie my-lan and chatted some more when i shoulda been studying for my stat quiz.

after stat quiz, i went to gym and saw ex-floormate sarah sasaki there! (rsf two days in a row! ya!)
then off to la boheme.
what a nice day it was

funny story:
while christina ha(mama), vicky, freshman eileen, and i were walking back home from the BART, we were talking about height and admiring christina ha's perfect height of 5' 8"...

me: i think 4'11" is the perfect height. (jk)
eileen: you're 4' 11"???
me: (nod)
eileen: are you handicapped?????

hahaha had a good laugh about that. but ouch! that hurts a little..

aahhh what fun filled days... college IS really what u make of it

song of the moment: ben folds five - brick

strangest day ever..

kindof like the strange cold but clear weather today.. i'm a surrounded by an eerie yet calm feeling..

strange incident #1 - i woke up for chem lecture!! i was gonna wake up at 5:30 am to study a bit, but i decided to sleep in a little but woke up at 6:40 am!! got dressed and ready by 7:10, ate breakfast [another strange incident here. see #2], and had time to review a little for the quiz

strange incident #2 - while making omelette for breakfast, i was cutting a bagel with a mini knife and cut myself a little bit. it hurt but it barely broke skin. soo i continued cuting, lalala, and then BAM! the knife was 2cm IN my FLESH.. (the fleshy part of my hand). wow i was so stunned. after staring at it for longer than i should have, i took it out and no blood. but soon the blood started to trickle down...

this incident totally reminded me of my mortality. altho sometimes i feel invincible, i'm really just soft flesh that can easily be mangled and torn to pieces by sharp and fast moving objects..by disease..

i quickly washed the wound, elevated my hand above my heart, and put pressure on other places so that i wouldnt focus too much on the throbbing pain..

strange incident #3 - nuuuumerous times tripping and a backpack banging my head in pimentel.. not so pleasant :P

strange incident #4 - weird (but funny) substitute teacher in music.. practiced "Geographical Fugue" by Ernst Toch which doesn't use pitches (like normal songs) but rather uses monotone notes with different values. it goes something like: "Trin-i-dad! and the big Mississippi and the town Honolulu and the lake Titicaca, the Popocatepetl is not in Canada rather in Mexico Mexico Mexico Canada Malaga Rimini Brindisi Canada Malaga Rimini Brindisi... Yes! Tibet Tibet Tibet Tibet Nagasaki Yokohana Nagasaki Yokohana Tibet Tibet Tibet Tibet...."
yes...

strange incident #5 - [if u are eating something u might want to finish it before reading on..] there was nothing to do at work, so kim meghan and i took a looonng lunch break outside at the lawn. first, we discover some odd poo. very neat poo in neat clumps. imagine a handful of chocolate covered raisins packed in a ball. imagine a giant raspberry .. except it's not seeds of fruit! it's seeds of poo!! euw.. euw..
so we tried to look away from the two heaps of poo and alas! a silvery squarish opened wrapper!! megan flips it with her shoe. it's a wrapper for lifestyles ribbed condom! and the used condom was not so far away!!
my, we had a pleasant sight while eating lunch... poo clump - wrapper - used condom - poo clump
gag reflexes working..

well, at least the day wasn't boring :)

song of the moment: garbage - the trick is to keep breathing

it's amazing how many things can change within a week

you can become a year older
you can acquire a significant other (not me!)
you can grow close to someone (or grow farther apart)
you can fall behind in classes cuz u haven't studied..

it seems like i haven't really sit down to think about and soak up all the things goin on right now. and then when i realize all that's happened, i'm so overwhelmed and everything becomes jumbly and i lose focus.
par exemple, i'd get distracted from a conversation with someone even if i'm the one doing the talking! oy..

i am sooooooo glad that i am going home this weekend. much needed break from alll this craziness.

i don't think college likes me. i work hard and i want to like college. even when college kicks me to the ground i stand right back up and give it a biiiggg hug.
but what hurts is when i'm having trouble just standing and ask college to lend me its hand for a little bit, it refuses and just stands there as i collapse.

college is mean.

song of the moment: five for fighting - superman (it's not easy)

3.5 more hours till...

hopefully i'll be done with my lab by then. that would SUCK to be working on a lab when one is coming of age.

so the pot luck today was nice :) sun has the cutest nicest place.. sooo jealous.
and eunice is the best cook!! i am proud to be the same year as her :)

hmm ppl keep asking me what i'm gonna do tomorrow. sigh.. it sux that the world doesn't stop for me for just ONE day. yup
so i will be doing the usual.. lab, class, daydreaming, wandering..
and hopefully gym at night? then watching heat (the best movie ever according to kevin)
and turning off my phone, screening my calls, and putting an obscure away message on AIM :)

oh and one last thing..
i didn't mean to worry anyone by my last blog.
didn't realize it gave off such depressing vibes..

song of the moment: missy elliot - work it

chingoo

means "friend" in korean. yup.. watched chingoo with kevin tonite.. and wow.. that movie totally exceeded my expectations. all the korean movies i've seen so far have been.. well.. crappy. and this was not! great acting. great plot. great cinematography. great.

and well, it got me thinking :) like all the 1 billion things that get me to think around this time of month..
chingoos. friends. les amis. whatever

friends are like cigarettes:

it all starts with the aid of a spark
some common bond or understanding.
you take deep breaths
sometimes it goes smoothly. sometimes not
like the crackling noise of the paper as you inhale.
you near the end, you feel a sting inside
and you feel the fire coming closer and closer
you can't simply enjoy it anymore.. you have to be cautious
careful not to burn yourself
then with one last drag.. it ends.
leaving you with only stench,
surrounding you in a cloud of smoke.
the world is blurrier than it was before
and you're hooked..

song of the moment: fiona apple - criminal

today is a God-given gift. that is why we call it the Present

if that were true, and if I could, I would’ve returned that gift yesterday.

I think someone out there is punishing me now for having the best weekend ever. or maybe it’s osmosis – a concentration of fun during the weekend means that the rest of the week lacks fun?

ok. enough babbling. I will get to the point:
my day started at 12:30 pm!!! yes, ochem lecture ended 3 hours before I awoke.
the written portion of my music midterm ended 1 and a half hours before I awoke.
the class I was supposed to assist at work ended(!) when I awoke.

wow.. so much happened BEFORE I WOKE UP!!!!!!!!

my mom would soooo give me a 100000 hour lecture about this if I told her..

i wonder why i’m having so much trouble with sleep. Not with sleeping, but with waking up. it’s not like i don’t get enough sleep.. maybe it’s like a subconscious thing. i’m not sure myself..

so i will prolly take my music 20a class pass/not pass. booo.. no GPA booster for me..

and at work: i don’t know what was going on but i felt weak and when i was making copies my arms where shaking and i was sweating cold sweat and i felt.. weak. hopefully this isn’t a precursor to sickness…

song of the moment: jonatha brooke - walking

exactly ONE more week

until i get to go on AIM again.
even after the "fast," will i go on AIM as religiously as i used to?
hmm i guess we will find out next week

so this weekend - this week - has been quite the interesting one. quite filled with drama and adventure :)

friday night, my fobby side was forced out of me at no re bang - korean karoke. after FiC a buncha the sophomores and big john im decided to go
dude, everyone was busting out with the g.o.d. and the BoA.. and i was singing old skool DJ DOC and .. sigh..
i miss korea.
i havent seen alll my korean relatives for about.. 5 years.
my "baby" cousins are now all going to elementary school.. crazyness!!

thenn.. saturday was an entire day of chatting and shopping with the girls. haha.. well.. with 2 girls - janet and elena
it seems to be that they have already written about this event in their blogs, but i will recap anyway
shopping from 1-8.. i got a sweater from urbn and a bag from abercrombie
aahh.. i always tell ppl to avoid shopping there. i am sucha disgrace maybe i will return it..

then the closing of the stores forced us stop and eat dinner at tony roma's
~mmmmmmm~
leftovers are still sitting in the fridge.
but man! we had the most freakiest waiter! all 3 of us made our orders soo complicating (we changed our side orders like 10 times) but he wasn't writing anything down he got most of our order right sooo i guess he was cool. but he had this piercing look.. like he was looking into the cores of our innermost fears ::shivers::

after a freakin loong bart ride (janet made us get off at the wrong bart exit to transfer onto the bart that goes to berkeley).. we got home at around 11pm.
then i went over to their place and watched "neh sa rang pat ji" (my love, patji?) from 12-2 am. hahaha. i was veerrryy tired during service today :)

aanndd.. today.
after church, came home, found roomie sleeping.. (she JUST woke up), waited for empty laundry machine, and shopped online for a couple hours.
got a jacket on jcrew.. and a hat (which i will return).

yikes.. mommy just called to ask me what i bought - didn't tell her about the bag. or the hat. she's anti-accessories so it's best if i don't tell her..

i received a package from her last.. wednesday? thursday?
my first birthday card and gift.. which i already returned. (not cuz i'm picky but cuz it broke!)
which reminds me that that time of year is coming once again.. wow. who knew it would come by so fast. FiC ppl are doing a little combined birthday thingy for eunice and jung and me. nice to know i'm unique and special :) haha.. just kidding

i dunno tho. i dunno if i even wanna go. i hate getting like this.. the thought of my birthday just makes me cranky.
it's not cuz of the whole "getting old" thing.. it's more like the "i hate that ppl feel like they HAVE to do something for me" kind of thing. i don't want people who i barely know to be ultranice to me on my birthday just cuz it's my birthday. feigned niceness is the worst. cuz why can't they be nice to me on any other day? i would appreciate random acts of niceness a lot more than that.
i guess i'm not the typical girl who likes to make a big deal of birthdays and anniversaries..

haha i bet i'm giving off brat vibes right now..
but really.. i really hope that my birthday will turn out to be like just any other day. except for maybe a few "happy birthdays" here and there :)

song of the moment: michelle branch - goodbye to you (this is for you kris..)

the triangle theory...

whenever i have free time, i seem to be thinking about this triangle theory.
for those of you who don't know what the triangle theory is..

it defines relationships and shows that only by getting closer to God will one be able to get close to others.
imagine you and a friend on the bottom points of the triangle; imagine God on the top

i think i'm having problems with this because i'm an "easy way out" kinda girl.
like..
i don't wanna have a research related science job cuz of the insane number of hours in a lab and .. well.. the research.
i don't wanna major in humanities (history, english, etc) cuz that would require me to spend a lot of my time writing papers
i don't wanna be a doctor cuz of the crazy work schedule and the whole pre-med process

haha- i talked to jeremy about this once, and he told me to get a job in the media. easy money, he says. haha

well, the point WAS.. i can't keep trying to find an easy way out.. cuz there is none with God.
and there is none with friends.

eek.. i gotta get home, but soo cold outside.
crazy berkeley weather.. fluctuates 20 degrees in the span of a day.

song of the moment: josh groban - gira con me

quit playing games

i was at the rsf tonite.. pedaling my heart out on the pre-cor, when i hear a conversation between two girls [prolly freshmen].
and, of course, this conversation is about a boy. about the fuzzy-line-between-friends-and-more-than-friends that one of the girls has with this boy.
we will call that girl.. um.. girl #1

well, girl #2, trying to be a supportive friend, gives advice to girl #1 on "how to play the game."
girl #2: nooo you shouldn't act like u aren't interested because then he might think that you really aren't.
girl #1: maybe i should ask him about his ex-girlfriend and show concern?
girl #2: nooo that might make him want to get back with his ex.

now cummon!!!! so dab dab heh..

and then a guy friend of theirs comes alone.. bandana clad, staggering, talkin on his cell phone.
"yo!" he says
then he proceeds to talk about how he made a $20 bet on a guy? and got a hot girl's phone #? and she has a boyfriend?

all games. all images.

this made me think: why is participating in this "game" so important to people?

i would think people appreciated candidness more than they did slyness. i mean, who likes additional drama in this craziness called life?
but it seems to be that the mysterious ones always win the fame game.
the driving force- is it the challenge of interacting with those who are difficult to figure out?

hmm..now that i think of it, i can't say that i myself am completely absent from the "game"

i find that when it comes to friends, "i missed you" is one of the hardest things to say.. even "we should have lunch soon" is hard. i dunno why i should care so much, but it's prolly cuz of the possibility of rejection. i know that a "no, i can't" answer doesn't mean that's the end of our friendship.. but.. argh i don't get it.

why can't we all just be frank (in a nice way) and let others know what we are REALLY thinking.
there aren't enough "i like you"s and "i miss you"s in this world..

song of the moment: incubus - mexico